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Jokes.Net Professional Jokes:
Accountant Jokes

    Statements of Consideration

    Accountants aren't boring people, we just get excited over boring things.

    Accountants do it without losing their balance.

    Accountants are Certified to do it in Public.

    An auditor is the guy who comes in after the battle to bayonet the wounded.

    There are 3 kinds of CPA's in the world - Those who can count, and those who can't.

    The difference between the short and long income tax forms is simple:
    If you use the short form, the government gets your money.
    If you use the long form, the accountant gets your money.

    If Patrick Henry hated taxation without representation, he should be here today to see how lousy it is WITH representation.

    Accountants never grow old they just lose their balance.

    Did you ever hear of a kid playing accountant...even if he wanted to be one?

    You might be an Accountant if...

    Your idea of trashing your hotel room is refusing to fill out the guest comment card.

    You refer to your child as Deduction 214.

    You deduct Exlax as "Moving Expenses."

    At the movie "Indecent Proposal" you did a NPV calculation.

    You decide to change your name to a symbol and you choose the doubleunderline "=================".

    If you have no idea that "GAP" is also a clothing store.


    The following are reflections on tax preparation:

    Have you ever wondered why people are quick to brag about their income, but refuse to list it all on their income tax?

    Have you ever wondered why people refuse to drop a dime in the Salvation Army Drum, but are quick to list significant miscellaneous cash donations for their itemized deductions?

    Have you ever wondered why someone refuses to share their age until they get an extra deduction on their tax return?

    Have you ever wondered why someone would refuse to discuss their weight - until they think that the cost of dieting can be considered a medical deduction?

    Have you ever wondered why child support is such a contentious issue when everyone wants to claim everyone that they ever knew as a dependent?

    Have you ever wondered why you can't complete a form within the IRS suggested time frame?


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