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Salespeople Jokes

Dictionary

    The Dictionary: what hi-tech salespeople say and what they mean by it

    New: Different color from previous design.
    All new: Parts not interchangable with previous design.
    Unmatched: Almost as good as the competition.
    Designed simplicity: Manufacturer's cost cut to the bone.
    Foolproof operation: No provision for adjustments.
    Advanced design: The advertising agency doesn't understand it.
    Field-tested: Manufacturer lacks test equipment.
    High accuracy: Unit on which all parts fit.
    Direct sales only: Factory had big argument with distributor.
    Years of development: We finally got one that works.
    Revolutionary: It's different from our competitiors.
    Breakthrough: We finally figured out a way to sell it.
    Improved: Didn't work the first time.
    Futuristic: No other reason why it looks the way it does.
    Distinctive: A different shape and color than the others.
    Re-designed: Previous faults corrected, we hope.
    Hand-crafted: Assembly machines operated without gloves on.
    Performance proven: Will operate through the warranty period.
    Meets all standards: Ours, not yours.
    Broadcast quality: Gives a picture and produces noise.
    High reliability: We made it work long enough to ship it.
    SMPTE bus compatible: When completed, will be shipped by Greyhound.
    New generation: Old design failed, maybe this one will work.
    MIL-SPEC components: We got a good deal at a government auction.
    Customer service across the country: You can return it from most airports.
    Unprecedented performance: Nothing we ever had before worked this way.
    Built to precision tolerances: We finally got it to fit together.
    Microprocessor controlled: Does things we can't explain.
    Latest aerospace technology: One of our techs was laid off by Boeing.


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