Q: What do cannibals do at a wedding?
A: Toast the bride and groom!

I wonder what happened to that dumb blonde I went out with.
I dyed my hair!

Now that we are engaged I hope you'll give me a ring.
Of course. What's your phone number?

My girlfriend has beautiful long hair all down her back.
What a pity its not on her head!

I can marry anyone I please.
But you don't please anyone!

Boss: Why do you want time off next week?
Employee: To get married
Boss: What stupid woman would marry you?
Employee: Your daughter!

If Miss Piggy married Mr Back she'd be Piggy Back

Have you noticed how many girls don't want to get married these days
No, how do you know
I've asked all of them!

The girl I marry will have to be able to take a joke
That's the only kind your going to get!