Sir, I'd like your daughter for my wife
Can't she get one of her own!

Boys fall in love with me at first sight.
Yes but at the second sight they realise they can't stand you!

Last night I dreamt I was dancing with the most beautiful girl in the world
What was I wearing?

Q: I'll cook you dinner, what would you like?
A: A life insurance policy!

They're perfectly matched. He's blinded by love and her looks are out of sight!

Julie's boyfriend told her he'd lost all his money
What did she say?
I'll miss you darling!

Before she was married your sister turned her husband's head with her good looks. Now she turns her stomach with her cooking!

Q: What's the wife of a hippy called?
A: Mississippi

My wife is one in a million
Really, I thought she was won in a raffle