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Jokes.Net Professional Jokes:
Accountant Jokes
Q: When does a person decide to become an accountant?
A: When he realizes he doesn't have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker.
Q: What does an accountant use for birth control?
A: His personality.
Q: What's an extroverted accountant?
A: One who looks at your shoes while he's talking to you instead of his own.
Q: What's an auditor?
A: Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded.
There are three kinds of accountants in the world.
Those who can count and those who can't.
Q: What's an accountant's idea of trashing his hotel room?
A: Refusing to fill out the guest comment card.
Q: How do you drive an accountant completely insane?
A: Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him and fold up a road map the wrong way.
Q: What's the most wicked thing a group of young accountants can do?
A: Go into town and gang-audit someone.
Q: What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't?
A: Depreciation.
An accountant is someone who knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing.
An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor.
"Doctor, I just can't get to sleep at night."
"Have you tried counting sheep?"
"That's the problem - I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find
it."
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