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Jokes.Net Politically Incorrect Jokes:
Blonde Jokes

Short Blonde Jokes 5

    There are 99 Blonds on a plane and 1 Brunette. The captain radios in that they are going down, So they drop all the luggage. They were still going down so they drop out all the chairs. They were still going down so they dropped the floor. So they are hanging by there hands from the top on the plane with no floor. So the captain say's "1 person jump out" the Brunette say's "I'll sacrifice my life", and all the Blonds start clapping.

    Q: How does a blond commit suicide?
    A: Jumps out the basement window.

    A Blond was riding a horse. Than suddenly the horse started to go faster and faster. At last she screamed "HELP!!!!" Than the store manager came out and unplugged it.

    Q: What did the blond say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
    A: Oh! look donut seeds

    Q: How do you get a twinkle in a blonds eyes?
    A: Shine a flash light through her ear.

    There were two blondes on opposite sides of a river. One yells across to the other: "Hey how do I get across the river?" The blond replies: "Why do you want to know? You're already there!"

    Q: Why are there so many blonde jokes?
    A: Because redheads and brunettes have to have something to do on the weekends

    Q: Have you heard Benjamin Moore came out with a new paint color called "blond"?
    A: It's not too bright but it spreads real easy.

    Q: What's the similarity between a blond and a postage stamp?
    A: You lick 'em, stick 'em, and send them on their way...

    Q: Why do blonds climb chain-link fences?
    A: To see what's on the other side.

    Q: When is it okay to shoot a blond in the head?
    A: When you have a tire pump nearby to re inflate it.

    Q: Why can't blonds water ski ?
    A: When ever they get wet they lay down and spread there legs.

    Q: Why is a blonde's coffin y-shaped?
    A: B/c she is so used to having her legs spread.

    Q: What is the definition of eternity?
    A: Four blondes at a four way stop.

    Q: id you hear about the blonde who won the gold medal at the Olympics?
    A: She had it bronzed.

    Q: Did you hear about the blonde prisoner who was found in his cell with half a dozen bumps on his head?
    A: He tried to hang himself with a bungee cord.

    Q: Why can't blondes make ice cubes?
    A: They always forget the recipe.

    Q: Why do blondes have more fun?
    A: They are easier to keep amused.

    Q: How did the blonde explain how his helicopter crashed?
    A: He said it was getting cold, so he turned off the ceiling fan.

    Q: How can you tell which tricycle belongs to the blonde?
    A: It is the one with the kickstand.

    Q: Why did it take the blonde a whole week to wash three basement windows?
    A: It took him six days just to dig the holes to put the ladder in.

    Q: Did you hear about the blonde who just bought an A.M. radio?
    A: It took him two weeks to figure out that you could play it at night.

    Q: How many blonds does it take to make Chocolate Chip Cookies?
    A: 5, 1 to mix the batter and 4 to squeeze the rabbit.

    Q: How do you know if a Blond has been drinking?
    A: She's walking in a straight line

    Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?
    A: I don't know, there are some things even a blonde won't do.

    Q: How do you plant dope?
    A: Bury a blonde.

    Q: How does a blonde get pregnant?
    A: And I thought blondes were dumb!

    Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
    A: You don't. They're born that way.

    Q: How did the blonde die drinking milk?
    A: The cow fell on her.

    Q: How did the blonde burn her nose?
    A: Bobbing for french fries.

    Q: How can you tell if a blonde writes mysteries?
    A: She has a checkbook.

    Q: What do you call a blonde wearing a leather jacket on a motorcycle?
    A: Rebel without a clue.

    Q: What does a blonde make best for dinner?
    A: reservations.

    Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?
    A: She gets the pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece.

    Q: WHY DOES A BLONDE ONLY CHANGE HER BABIES DIAPER ONCE A MONTH???
    A: BECAUSE THE BOX SAYS GOOD FOR UP TO 30 POUNDS..

    Q: Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory
    A: She threw away all the W's.

    Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday
    A: You tell them a joke on Friday.

    Q: How do you hit a blonde and she will never know it
    A: With a thought!

    Q: Why did the blonde keep failing her driver's test?
    A: Because every time the door opened, she jumped into the back seat.

    Q: What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
    A: A blonde parade.

    Q: WHY DON'T BLONDES BREAST FEED THEIR BABIES?
    A: It hurts too much when they boil their nipples.

    Q: What's the difference between a blonde having her period and a terrorist?
    A: You can negotiate with a terrorist

    Q: What's the definition of eternity?
    A: 4 blondes at a 4 way stop.

    Q: Why do blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
    A: "Toe goes in first".


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