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Short Cricket Jokes
- The captain of a team says to the Umpire, "My players want to know if there is a penalty for thinking." The Umpire says, "No." The captain says, "Well we think you're an asshole, then."
- Jones had taken his wife to a cricket match. She sat through the
first innings although plainly bored. In the second innings a
batsman gave a tremendous swipe and knocked the ball out of the
ground. 'Thank goodness they got rid of it,' she sighed. 'Now
we can all go home.'
- The two rival cricketers were talking.
'The local team wants me to play for them very badly.'
'Well, you're just the man for the job.'
- At the interval, everybody rushed to the bar, where local
publican had thoughtfully provided a case of light ale.
Unfortunately, the ale was off and halfway through the second
innings, everyone was so ill that they abandoned the match. It
was a case of bad light stopping play.
- In the 1970s, two dedicated Yorkshiremen were at the match. One discovered
that he'd left his wallet at home and friend offered to go back
for it. He returned pale and shaken.
'I've got bad news for thee, Bob. Your wife s run off and left
thee, and your house 'as burned to the ground!'
'I've got worse news for thee, lad. Boycott's out.'
- A Yorkshireman had emigrated to America, but still used to receive news from home by mail. One day,
he got the following telegram:
'Regret father died this morning STOP early hours. Funeral Wednesday STOP Yorkshire two hundred
and one for six STOP Boycott not out ninety six.'
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