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The old man was critically ill. Feeling that death was near, he called his lawyer. "I want to become a Democrat. Get me a change of registration form." "You can do it", the lawyer said, "But why? You'll be dead soon, why do you want to become a Democrat?" "That's my business! Get me the form!"

Four days later, the old man got his registration changed. His lawyer was at his bedside making sure his bill would be paid. Suddenly the old man was racked with fits of coughing, and it was clear that this would be the end. Still curious, the lawyer leaned over and said, "Please, before it's too late, tell me why you wanted to become a Democrat so badly before you died?" In a faint whisper, as he breathed his last, the old man said: "One less Democrat".

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Q: What do you get when you cross a pilgrim with a democrat?
A: A god-fearing tax collector who gives thanks for what other people have.

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In an article on Northern Ireland, the political party Sinn Fein was described as the political wing of the IRA. I guess that makes the Democratic Party the political wing of the IRS.

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Q: What do you get when you cross a bad politician with a lawyer?
A: Chelsea.

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A Democrat and your mother-in-law are trapped in a burning building. You only have time to save one of them.
Do you have lunch or go to a movie?

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Q: What's the difference between a Democrat and a catfish?
A: One is an ugly, scum sucking bottom-feeder and the other is a fish.

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Q: What's the difference between a Democrat politician and a leech?
A: A leech quits sucking your blood after you die.

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Q: What's the difference between a Democrat and a vampire?
A: A vampire only sucks blood at night.

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Q: What's the difference between a Democrat on a Harley and a vacuum cleaner?
A: The vacuum has the dirt bag on the inside.

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Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead Democrat in the road?
A: Vultures will eat the skunk.

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Q: What's the difference between a Democrat and a prostitute?
A: The prostitute give value for the money she takes.

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Q: What's the difference between a Democrat and a bucket of cow manure?
A: The bucket.

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Q: What's the difference between a Democrat and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.