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Jokes.Net Political Jokes:
Democratic Jokes

Short Democrat Jokes 2

    A black man was running for office as a Republican against a white Democratic nominee in a southern state. This was the first time since reconstruction days that a black had run for office, and some bigots were upset. At the Black man's first political speech, one of these people started heckling him as he began to speak, "What have you got to say for youself, you black Republican bastard?"

    Without blinking an eye or showing any emotion, the Black man replied, "I'm Black and proud of it; I'm Republican and proud of it; and if the last is true, it's because my mother was too darn Democratic."

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    Q: Why should Democrats be buried 100 feet deep?
    A: Because deep down, they're really good people.

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    Q: How can you tell there's an afterlife for Democrats?
    A: Because after they die, they lie still.

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    Q: What's black and brown and looks good on a Democrat?
    A: A doberman

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    Q: What happens when you cross a pig with a Democrat?
    A: Nothing. There are some things a pig won't do.

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    Q: What's the definition of "a shame"?
    A: When a busload of Democrats goes off a cliff.

    Q: What is the definition of a "crying shame"?
    A: When there was an empty seat

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    Three Democrats and three Republicans were going for a trip by train. Before boarding the train the Democrats bought 3 tickets (they could count to three) while the Republicans bought only one. The Democrats were glad their stupid colleagues were going to pay a fine. However when the conductor was approaching their compartment, all three Republicans went to the nearest toilet. The Conductor noticing that somebody is in the toliet knocked on the door and in reply saw a hand with the ticket. He checked it and Republicans saved 2/3 of the ticket price. The next day the Democrats decided to use the same strategy- they bought only one ticket, but Republicans did not buy any tickets at all. When the Democrats saw the conductor they went to the toliet, and when they heard knocking they handed out the ticket. They did not get it back. Why? The Republicans took it and went to the other toilet.

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    A party of Democrats was climbing in the Alps .
    After several hours they became hopelessly lost.
    One of them studied the map for some time, turning
    it up and down, sighting on distant landmarks,
    consulting his compass, and finally the sun.

    Finally he said, ' OK see that big mountain over there?'
    'Yes', answered the others eagerly.
    'Well, according to the map, we're standing on top of it.'

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    When Albert Einstein died, he met three people in the line outside the Pearly Gates. To pass the time, he asked what were their IQs. The first replied 190. "Wonderful," exclaimed Einstein. "We can discuss the contribution made by Ernest Rutherford to atomic physics and my theory of general relativity". The second answered 150. "Good," said Einstein. "I look forward to discussing the role of Gingrich's Contract with America legislation in moving us into the twenty-first century". The third person mumbled 50. Einstein paused, and then asked, "What was it like being Vice-President, Mister Gore?"

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    Q:Why did God create Democrats ?
    A:In order to make used car salesmen look good.

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    SOCIALISM: You have two cows. State takes one and give it to someone else.
    COMMUNISM: You have two cows. State takes both of them and gives you milk.
    FASCISM: You have two cows. State takes both of them and sell you milk.
    NAZISM: You have two cows. State takes both of them and shoot you.
    BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. State takes both of them, kill one and spill the milk in the sewage system.
    CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.


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