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Doctor Jokes
"Don't worry, it won't happen to me. If I treat someone with pneumonia he will die of pneumonia." --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A guy walks into work, and both of his ears are all bandaged up. The boss says, "What happened to your ears?" --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A SHORT HISTORY OF MEDICINE: "Doctor, I have an ear ache." --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A pipe burst in a doctor's house. He called a plumber. The plumber arrived, unpacked his tools, did mysterious plumber-type things for a while, and handed the doctor a bill for $600. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A doctor said to his car mechanic, "Your debit is several times more per hour then we get paid for medical care." --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The seven-year old girl told her mom, "A boy in my class asked me to play doctor." --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"The doctor said he would have me on my feet in two weeks." ------------------------------------------------------------------
"Doctor, please hurry. My son swallowed a razor-blade." ------------------------------------------------------------------
"Doctor, Doctor, You've got to help me - I just can't stop my hands shaking!" ------------------------------------------------------------------
"Doctor, doctor, will I be able to play the violin after the operation?" ------------------------------------------------------------------
A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" ------------------------------------------------------------------ The surgeon told his patient that woke up after having been operated: "I'm afraid we're going to have to operate you again. Because, you see, I forgot my rubber gloves inside you." "Well, if it's just because of them, I'd rather pay for them if you just leave me alone." ------------------------------------------------------------------
Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news. ------------------------------------------------------------------
Doctor: "I've got very bad news - you've got cancer and Alzheimer's" ------------------------------------------------------------------
A man walks into a doctor's office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear. ------------------------------------------------------------------
A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast.
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