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Light Bulb Jokes

Short Light Bulb Jokes

    Q: How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.

    Q: How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A1: Five. One to change the bulb and four more to chase off the Californians who have come up to relate to the experience.
    A2: Nine. One to change the bulb, and eight to protest the nuclear power plant that generates the electricity that powers it.

    Q: How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A1: None 'o yo' damn business!
    A2: 50. 50? Yeah 50; its in the contract.

    Q: How many WASPs does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Two. One to call the electrician and one to mix the martinis.

    Q: How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
    A1: Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
    A2: None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.

    Q: How many software people does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A1: None. Thats a hardware problem.
    A2: One, but if he changes it, the whole building will probably fall down.
    A3: Two. One always leaves in the middle of the project.

    Q: How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?
    A1: None. That's a software problem.
    A2: None. They just have marketing portray the dead bulb as a feature.

    Q: How many FSE's (field service engineers) does it take to replace a dead light bulb?
    A1: Who can tell. FSE's are always in the dark.
    A2: 2. One to hold the bulb and one to pound it in (etc)
    Q: How long will it take?
    A:' That's indeterminate. It depends on how many dead bulbs they've brought with them.
    Q: What if you have *two* dead bulbs?
    A: They replace your fuse box.

    Q: How many Unix hacks does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: As many as you want; they're all virtual, anyway.

    Q: How many Bell Labs Vice Presidents does it take to change a light bulb?
    A1: That's proprietary information. Answer available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
    A2: Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
    A3: Three. One to get the bulb and two to get the phone number of one of their subordinates to actually change it.

    Q: How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.

    Q: How many `Real Men' does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: None: `Real Men' aren't afraid of the dark.
    A: None of your damn business!


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