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Light Bulb Jokes

Short Light Bulb Jokes 3

    Q: How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him.

    Q: How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Three, but they're really only one.

    Q: How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.

    Q: How many jugglers does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: One, but it takes at least three light bulbs.

    Q: How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Thats not funny!!!

    Q: How many 'Cliffie girls does it take to change a light bulb?
    A': It's "Radcliffe Women" and it's not funny!

    Q: How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: None. The darkness will cause the light bulb to change by itself.

    Q: How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A1: Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.
    A2: None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.

    Q: How many Valley Girls does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Oooh, like, manual labor? Gag me with a spoon! For sure.

    Q: How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Three.One to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.

    Q: How many straight San Franciscans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: Both of them.

    Q: How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A1: A tree in a golden forest.
    A2: Two: one to change the bulb and one not to change it.
    A3: One to change and one not to change is fake Zen. The true Zen answer is Four. One to change the bulb.
    A4: None. Zen masters carry their own light.

    Q: How many Carl Sagans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: Billions and billions.

    Q: How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.

    Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Two, one to hold the giraffe, and the other to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools.

    Q: How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!

    Q: How many doctors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: Three. One to find a bulb specialist, one to find a bulb installation specialist, and one to bill it all to Medicare.

    Q: What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
    A: You can unscrew a light bulb.

    Q: How many [IBM] Technical Writers does it take to change a light bulb?
    A1: 100. Ten to do it, and 90 to write document number GC7500439-0001, Multitasking Incandescent Source System Facility, of which 10% of the pages state only "This page intentionally left blank", and 20% of the definitions are of the form "A:...... consists of sequences of non-blank characters separated by blanks".
    A2': Just one, provided there's an engineer around to explain how to do it.

    Q: How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.

    Q: How many gays does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: Two. One to screw it in and the other to say "Fabulous."

    Q: How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.

    Q: How many people from New Jersey does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Three. One to change the light bulb, one to be a witness, and the third to shoot the witness.

    Q: How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: 10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.

    Q: How many strong does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: 115. One to hold the bulb and 114 to rotate the house.

    Q: How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.

    Q: How many people does it take to throw away a one WATT bulb??
    A: Five. A Black, a Jew, two women, and a cripple...

    Q: How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: None. It turned itself in.

    Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: How many can you afford?

    Q: How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!

    Q: How many Lesbians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: Three. One to screw it in and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.

    Q: How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: None. There never was any light bulb.


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