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Light Bulb Jokes

Short Light Bulb Jokes 5

    Q: How many WASP Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: Two. One to get a Tab and one to call Daddy.

    Q: How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: What kind of answer did you have in mind?

    Q: How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: As many as it takes to make a pile big enough to climb on to reach the bulb.

    Q: How many civil servants does it take to change the light bulb?
    A: 45. One to change the bulb, and 44 to do the paperwork.

    Q: How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: Oh wow, is it like dark, man?

    Q: How many consultants does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: I'll have an estimate for you a week from Monday.

    Q: How many U.S. Marines does it take to screw in a light bulb ?
    A: 50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him.

    Q: How many Romulans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: 151, one to screw the light-bulb in, and 150 to self-destruct the ship out of disgrace.

    Q: How many Vulcans does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Approximately 1.00000000000000000000000

    Q: How many members of the U.S.S. Enterprise does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: 7. Scotty will report to Captain Kirk that the light bulb in the Engineering Section is burnt out, to which Kirk will send Bones to pronounce the bulb dead. Scotty, after checking around, notices that they have no more new light bulbs, and complains that he can't see in the dark to tend to his engines. Kirk must make an emergency stop at the next uncharted planet, Alpha Regula IV, to procure a light bulb from the natives. Kirk, Spock, Bones, Sulu, and 3 red shirt security officers beam down. The 3 security officers are promptly killed by the natives, and the rest of the landing party is captured. Meanwhile, back in orbit, Scotty notices a Klingon ship approaching and must warp out of orbit to escape detection. Bones cures the native king who is suffering from the flu, and as a reward the landing party is set free and given all of the light bulbs they can carry. Scotty cripples the Klingon ship and warps back to the planet just in time to beam up Kirk et. al.
    The new bulb is inserted, and the Enterprise continues with its five year mission.

    Q: How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?
    A: Many hands make light work.

    Q: How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?
    A: None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.

    Q: How many Pygmies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: At least three. (Notes: think height!)

    Q: How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.

    Q: How many Chinese Red Guards does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: 10,000 - to give the bulb a cultural revolution.

    Q: How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: All of them.

    Q: How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me."

    Q: Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?
    A1: No, big daddy, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
    A2: Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen in on the guest list.

    Q: How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: Two, one to screw it almost all the way in and the other to give it a surprising twist at the end.

    Q: How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.

    Q: How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!

    Q: How many referral agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.

    Q: How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.

    Q: How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: one.


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