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Male Versus Female Jokes

Short Male Versus Female Jokes

    Q: Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
    A: Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.

    Q: Did you hear they finally made a device that makes cars run 95% quieter?
    A: Yeah, it fits right over her mouth.

    Q: Why are hangovers better than women?
    A: Hangovers will go away.

    Q: Why do women have smaller feet than men?
    A: So they can stand closer to the sink.

    Q: How do you know when a women's about to say something smart?
    A: When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me...."

    Q: How do you fix a woman's watch?
    A: You don't...there's a clock on the oven!

    I date this girl for two years -- and then the nagging starts:
    "I wanna know your name..."

    Women are like guns, keep one around long enough and your going to want to shoot it.

    Q: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
    A: The Dog of course...at least he'll shut up after you let him in!

    Q: What are two reasons why women don't mind their own business?
    A: 1.No mind.
    a: 2.No business.

    The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" and I said, "Dust!"

    Q: Why do women like intelligent men?
    A: Opposites attract.

    Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a women's sex drive by 90 percent.... Wedding cake!!!

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