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Mother-in-Law Jokes

Short Mother-in-Law Jokes

    I never forget a face,
    But in my mother-in-laws case I'm willing to make an exception.

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    I have never made a fool of my mother-in-laws,
    I just leave her to display her natural talents herself.

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    My mother-in-laws and I were happy for 20 years,
    Then we met each other.

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    Last night the local peeping Tom knocked on my mother-in-laws' door, and asked her to shut her blinds.

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    Marriage Anon is a club for bachelors.
    If any is tempted to marry, they send my mil over in curlers and dressing gown.

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    One cannibal says to the other: "I can't stand my mother-in-law."
    The other says: "Why don't you just eat the vegetables?"

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    A man finds a lamp, rubs it, and sure enough a genie appears. The genie tells the man he may have 2 wishes. He will get whatever 2 things he wishes, BUT whatever he gets, his MIL will get double. The man thinks for a while & then proclaims "1. I'd like a million dollars. 2. Beat me half to death".

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    The Argument:

    A couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word.
    An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede their position.
    As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the wife sarcastically asked, "relatives of yours?"
    "Yep," the husband replied, "In-laws."

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    Q: What is the difference between George Washington, Richard Nixon, and your Mother-in-Law?
    A: Washington couldn't tell a lie, Nixon couldn't tell the truth, your Mother-in-Law doesn't know the difference.

    Q: What are the two worst things about your Mother-in-Law?
    A: Her faces.

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    My Mother-in-Law is so big, we had to stop buying her Malcom X tee shirts, because helicopters kept trying to land on her.

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    A man was on trial for bigamy, and after the judge passed sentence he asked the defendant if he'd learned what made having more than one wife a bad thing. "Yes, your honor, I have," he replied. "What is the reason?" the judge asked. "Having two wives means having two mothers-in-law, and that, in itself, should be grounds enough to support assisted suicide."

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    My mother in law is so stupid she actually asked me for money. The thing is, is that I'm a bum !!!!! How dumb is she?

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    I always know when it's the mother in law knocking at the door the mice throw themselves in the traps.

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    My mother in law is a big woman. She got run over last week. The driver said he had enough room to get around her, but he didn't know if he had enough petrol.


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