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Musician Jokes

Short Musician Jokes 4

    Q: How do you put a sparkle in a soprano's eye?
    A: Shine a flashlight in her ear.

    Q: Where is a tenor's resonance?
    A: Where his brain should be.

    Q: What's the definition of a male quartet?
    A: Three men and a tenor.

    Q: How many basses does it take to change a lightbulb?
    A: None. They're so macho they prefer to walk in the dark and bang their shins.

    Q: What is the difference between the men's final at Wimbledon and a high school choral performance?
    A: The tennis final has more men.

    Q: How does a young man become a member of a high school chorus?
    A: On the first day of school he turns into the wrong classroom.

    Q: What is the difference between a world war and a high school choral performance?
    A: The performance causes more suffering.

    Q: Why do high school choruses travel so often?
    A: Keeps assassins guessing.

    Q: What's the definition of an optimist?
    A: A choral director with a mortgage.

    Q: What is the difference between a high school choral director and a chimpanzee?
    A: It's scientifically proven that chimpanzees are able to communicate with humans.

    Q: What's the difference between an Appalachian dulcimer and a hammered dulcimer?
    A: A hammered dulcimer burns hotter; an Appalachian dulcimer burns longer.

    Q: How many country & western singers does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Three. One to change the bulb and two to sing about the old one.

    Q: "Hey, buddy, how late do the filkers play?"
    A: "Oh, about half a beat behind..."

    Q: What's the difference between a puppy and a singer-songwriter?
    A: Eventually the puppy stops whining.

    Q: How many jazz musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: None. Jazz musicians can't afford light bulbs.
    A: "Don't worry about the changes. We'll fake it!"


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