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Stock Market Jokes

Stockbroker Helps Mr Junkie to Short

    ABC Stock reaches $155. $155 for a stock that should be valued at $100. Wow!!!!

    That's it I say to myself. It's time I make that decision that all longs consider at one time or another. I am going to short my first stock. I am thinking to myself "This stock is overvalued. It can't sustain these levels. This is money in the bank. Guaranteed baby!!"

    I phone my broker.

    "How can I help you Mr.Junkie."

    "I want to place a trade. I want to short 1000 share of ABC." After a few seconds he says,

    "I am sorry Mr.Junkie. I can't process that for you. Your account is a cash account. You need a margin account to short a stock. I can send you the application or you could go to your nearest financial institution to fill out the forms."

    I head out the door the minute I get off the phone because time was a wasting and as they say time is money. I run into the financial institution fill out the form and have a taxi deliver it directly to my broker. Next morning I call the broker.

    " Hello it's Mr.Junkie did you get the application"

    "Yes We did."

    "Great I would like to short ABC then."

    "One minute please. I am sorry Mr.Junkie but you now need a shorters account."

    "What! You mean the margin account isn't enough?

    "No you also need a shorters account. Nearest financial institution has the forms"

    Off I go again. I complete the form and have it sent by courier to the broker.

    Next day I call again.

    "Hello Mr.Junkie"

    "Please I want to short 1000 shares of abc"

    "One moment please." Voice returns within a few seconds. "Sorry Mr.Junkie you don't have enough funds. To short a stock you need 150% the equity value of the stock you are shorting."

    "Transfer the funds from my bank account." I demand.

    "Will do Mr.Junkie but it will take 2 days for it to be in your account" he replies

    two days later I call.

    "It's Mr.Junkie did you get the funds transfer."

    "Yes Mr.Junkie we did"

    "Great I want to short 1000 shares of abc at $155"

    Few moments later "Mr. Junkie I am sorry but I don't think that is possible"

    "Why not. Now what's the problem?"

    "We'll the last trade went through at $101."


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