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Jokes.Net Professional Jokes:
Accountant Jokes

    Q: What's the definition of an accountant?
    A: Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.

    Q: What's the definition of a good tax accountant?
    A: Someone who has a loophole named after him.

    Q: When does a person decide to become an accountant?
    A: When he realizes he doesn't have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker.
    Q: What does an accountant use for birth control?
    A: His personality.
    Q: What's an extroverted accountant?
    A: One who looks at your shoes while he's talking to you instead of his own.
    Q: What's an auditor?
    A: Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded.
    There are three kinds of accountants in the world.
    Those who can count and those who can't.
    Q: What's an accountant's idea of trashing his hotel room?
    A: Refusing to fill out the guest comment card.
    Q: How do you drive an accountant completely insane?
    A: Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him and fold up a road map the wrong way.
    Q: What's the most wicked thing a group of young accountants can do?
    A: Go into town and gang-audit someone.
    Q: What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't?
    A: Depreciation.
    An accountant is someone who knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing.
    An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor.
    "Doctor, I just can't get to sleep at night."
    "Have you tried counting sheep?"
    "That's the problem - I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it."

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