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Musician Jokes

Short Musician Jokes 2

    Q: What happened to Bach after he had 20 children?
    A: His Organ Baroque!

    Q: Why did Bach have so many children?
    A: His organ had no stops.

    Q: What did Mozart recently say to a noisy visitor?
    A: "Shhhh! I'm decomposing!"

    Q: What's the difference between a conductor and a sack of shit?
    A: The sack.

    Q: If Hitler, Stalin and a conductor all walked into the room in which you were standing, and you had a gun but only two bullets, who would you shoot first?
    A: The conductor...twice.

    Q: Why are conductors' hearts so coveted for transplants?
    A: They've had so little use.

    Q: What does a good conductor weigh?
    A: 28 ounces, not counting the urn.

    We know a guy who was so dumb his teacher gave him two sticks and he became a drummer but then lost one and became a conductor.

    Q: If you throw a conductor and a violist off a tall building, who'll hit the ground first?
    A: Who cares?

    Q: What's the difference between a bull and a symphony orchestra?
    A: The bull has the horns in front and the ass in the back.

    Q: What's black and brown and looks good on a conductor?
    A: A Doberman.

    Q: What do all great conductors have in common?
    A: They're all dead.

    Q: What does new age music sound like played backwards?
    A: New age music.

    Q: What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?
    A: Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

    Q: What do you get when you cross a music critic with a bowling ball?
    A: A bowling ball that wouldn't know a good performance if it heard one.

    Q: What do you call a musician without a girlfriend?
    A: Homeless.

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