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Stock Market Jokes

Stockbroker as Liquidator

    In the midst of the shaky stock market we have had this week many brokers are getting calls from their clients requesting they liquidate their holdings. One broker recounts such a call.

    One of my clients call me on Thursday all anxious and out of breath with this urgency in his voice.

    He says to me "Howard sell it all sell everything , fast right away."

    I try to explain to him that the market is cyclical in nature and that for long term outlook stocks still remain the place to be.

    He says" John, let me tell you a secret. You know I've been married for 6 years now and I've been your client for 5."

    "yes go on" I say.

    "Well. My wife Lucie has this thing about the market. It's a phobia of sorts. When we got married I promised her that I would follow in her parents footsteps and never venture in the stock market and always leave all our money under the mattress. Her Great Grandparents lost it all in the great crash and ever since then her family found investing in the market akin to original sin."

    "Wow Howard I didn't know that. I guess you want the money because the market is going down in case she asks for it."

    "No John I want the money because she ordered a new mattress and it is being delivered in two days."

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